E.R.

I have just realized that I have not blogged about my absolutely hysterical Sunday afternoon that I had 4 days ago.

So I got home from church, and Tea and I were supposed to go do engagements for one of her friends, so I texted her asking when we were leaving and where all we were going so I would know what to wear. The reply I received was not exactly what I expected.
"Not going anymore"
"Broke my butt"
"Going to ER"

I totally freaked!

"Oh my heck!! Do you want me to come with you??"
"Yeah if you're here in two seconds"

"Running out the door."

I got to Tamey's house right as her mom was walking her out to the car. She was taking one step a second. It was .... really really funny and really really sad at the same time. So we hop in the car, and I asked what happened. Well it turns out that her mom had gotten one of those blow up slides for the grand kids. They were all playing on it and they wanted Tamey to go down with them. Well, all the kids were jumping from the top to the bottom of the slide, so Tea was like,
"Hey mom, should I jump??"
Mom, totally not thinking about the consequences said,
"Sure, go ahead."

(this was the jump)

And then she landed on the foot of padding at the bottom. Unfortunately, even as teeny as she is, she was just a little bit heavier then the little kids that were jumping. And she landed right on her toosh, with no padding from the slide. With the air totally knocked out of her she huffed out an almost silent worried cry,
"Mommmm!"

They ran upstairs so she could throw on some clothes, and met me at the car.

After sitting in the waiting room for, like, ever, haha and playing "I spy with my little eye,..." in the fish tank, we finally fell asleep on the benches.

"Tamera Wolsey....?"

YAY!

The lady led us and one other guy to our rooms, haha, but Tamey wasnt really moving very quick and the automatic doors closed on us. We had to get hospital authorization to get through them. By the time we got through we had no idea where to go. So we kind of waddled around the corner until the nurse came looking for the cripple.

Once we got to Tamey's room, I went crazy. The ADD totally started kicking in, like really bad. I was touching everything. And spinning around on the doctor's little foot stool of a chair. Eventually I ended up grabbing one of the "non-latex" latex gloves. I blew a few up like balloons, but I couldnt figure out how to tie them off, so then I ended up just playing sling-shot with them. Trying to make it into the garbage can. Now, Im not blessed with the best aim in the whole world. So the few times that the glove actually went in the direction of the trash can, it didnt make it in. All the other times, as I stretched the glove back, I let go with the wrong hand and it either flew behind me, almost smacking Tea's mom, or it snapped me in the neck. BONUS, Im not smart enough to let go, and just get up and throw it away myself, I had to keep playing with it. So I got snapped by the "non-latex" latex glove about 3-4 times, and ended up with a red welt/line on my neck.

I had had enough. So I threw that ballooned glove away......and picked up a new fresh one. =) With this glove I practiced blowing it up as large as I could.

Eventually I even got it tied off, so we played Hot-Potato with the "utter-like" glove.

Thats when I got the novel idea to put a face on our little friend!! I whipped out my handy dandy pen and went to work. Mom and Tea were so worried I was going to pop him. hehe. but I did not. No I made him handsome and dashing.....with coke-bottle glasses, freckles, and braces.

hehe.

Every girl's dream man.

Unfortunately I did not take into consideration that this was a smudgy pen, and "Georgey" was a very "non-latex" latex glove. So one pass up in the air, and the first hand-on contact that he had, totally wiped his face off....and again, it was me who had to be smart enough to get pen all over my skin. Darn. So I ended up popping him and sending him to join the rest of his fellow glovers in the trash can.

Enter: Doctor "I take forever getting to a patient" Sander-something-or-another.

"Okay, so I hear you fell off the slide."

(snickering from the peanut gallery)

"Uh, ..Yes"

"Well we're going to take you for some x-rays, and I'll get you some meds to ease the pain a little."

"K."

Exit: Doctor Nothing.

A few minutes later....

Enter: Nurse "I am so bored with my life right now"

"Okay I have your shot here."
This shot was going straight for her butt.

"Oh no!" (Tamey)

She grabbed her mom's hand and mine, and started squeezing for dear life. Even as the nurse was sterilizing the skin, Tamera was hyperventalating....okay, she wasnt hyperventalating, she just wasnt breathing at all!! We had to tell her,

"Breathe!"

"Breathe!"
"Tamey, Breathe!"

(nurse) "Okay here it comes."
STAB

SCREAM

"BREATHE TAMEY, BREATHE!"

"It's okay, its all over, you're okay."

".....are you okay?"

Sigh.

Finally, a breath.

And then after that, the morphine kicked in......

hehe. This is where we had fun.

The nurse came and took her away for x-rays, and by the time she brought her back it was only a few minutes before she came in saying nothing was broken, we could go home now. They were going to go get a little blow-up donut for her to sit on, and we could leave.

So the nurse walks out, and we got Tamera up to change out of the nighty gown...(hehe those crack me up) As she stands up, she was RIGHT NEXT to the wall and she says,

"Hey, there's a wall right here."

BAHAHA HAHAHA HAHA HA HAHAHA HA HA HAHA HA!

No way Tamey? There is really a wall right there? OH MY GOSH!

HA!

We were laughing so hard.

Tea on morphine really is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! She said some of the funniest things!

Anyway, after leaving the E.R. we ordered pizza, and went home. Tea and I ate a whole pizza ourselves while watching Coyote Ugly, and then we both crashed.

The End.